⁉️Compassionate Inquiry Questions: Long version

17 Jul, 2025

Here’s a detailed and structured list of questions that follow the flow of a Compassionate Inquiry (CI) session, inspired by Gabor Maté’s method. These are not scripted, but flexible prompts to help guide someone inward through curiosity, safety, and non-judgment — uncovering unconscious beliefs, body sensations, and emotional truths.

🧭 OVERVIEW: 3 Stages of Compassionate Inquiry

Let’s go stage by stage with practical questions:

🌿 1. Establishing Safety, Presence & Attunement

🧠 Purpose:

• Regulate the nervous system
• Build trust and attunement
• Help the person land in the now

🌟 Sample Questions & Prompts:

a) Orient to the body:

• “What’s happening in your body right now?”
• “Where do you feel that?”
• “If you scan your body, what sensations stand out?”
• “What happens in your chest, belly, throat, jaw?”

b) Slow things down:

• “Can we pause here for a moment?”
• “Would it be okay if we stayed with that for a little longer?”
• “What do you notice right now — just being with me in this space?”

c) Invite safety and permission:

• “Do you feel safe exploring this right now?”
• “Are you okay if I stay curious about what’s showing up?”

d) Gentle anchoring:

• “Can you feel the support of the chair beneath you?”
• “What helps you feel a little more grounded right now?”

🔍 2. Inquiry: Uncovering the Core Belief or Emotional Pattern

🧠 Purpose:

• Explore the emotion beneath the story
• Gently expose core wounds or assumptions
• Bring implicit material into awareness

🌟 Sample Questions & Prompts:

a) Explore emotional charge or reactivity:

• “What’s the emotion underneath what you’re saying?”
• “When you notice that tension, what does it remind you of?”
• “Is there a younger version of you that feels this way?”

b) Trace back:

• “When have you felt this before?”
• “What’s the earliest memory you have of feeling like this?”
• “Who did you learn this feeling or belief from?”

c) Identify core belief:

• “What do you believe about yourself in that moment?”
• “If that emotion could speak, what would it say about who you are?”
• “What is the voice in your head telling you about yourself right now?”

d) Stay with the body:

• “What’s happening in your body as you say that?”
• “How does it feel to name that belief?”

e) Surface protective patterns:

• “What do you do to avoid feeling this?”
• “What strategies or roles do you take on to not be rejected/hurt?”
• “What do you fear would happen if you didn’t manage this?”

f) Offer presence:

• “Can we just be with that part for a moment?”
• “Would it be okay to turn toward that sensation or emotion — not to fix it, but to notice it?”

💛 3. Integration, Compassion & Closure

🧠 Purpose:

• Normalize and soften shame
• Reconnect to self-compassion and agency
• Integrate insights somatically or symbolically

🌟 Sample Questions & Prompts:

a) Name the insight:

• “What are you seeing more clearly now?”
• “If you had to name the belief that’s been running the show, what would it be?”
• “Is this belief true — or just familiar?”

b) Compassionate reframe:

• “What would you say to that younger part of you now?”
• “If this belief isn’t who you really are, who are you beyond it?”
• “What’s the truth your body or heart wants you to know?”

c) Embodiment:

• “Can you feel the difference in your body now?”
• “What does your body want to do or express in response?”
• “What would it be like to carry this new awareness with you?”

d) Closure:

• “Is there anything that still feels unfinished?”
• “What’s one thing you’re taking with you from this session?”
• “Is there a gesture or image that feels like a good way to close?”

🧠 Bonus: Questions for Parts Work Integration (IFS-Flavored CI)

• “Can you check in with the part that’s afraid right now?”
• “What is this part protecting you from?”
• “How old does this part feel?”
• “Can you thank this part for trying to help?”
• “Is there a part that’s judging this emotion or story?”
• “Who inside doesn’t want to go there — and can we meet them too?”

🧘🏽 Tips to keep in mind while asking:

• Tone is slow, soft, and curious — not clinical or analytical
• Leave space for silence — don’t rush answers
• Use mirroring instead of interpretation: repeat their words gently
• Always ask permission before going deeper: “Would it be okay if we explored this more?”