Compassionate inquiry - Stepping Stones
Engage with the client. Invite them to participate. Ask permission to begin or continue. This enhances safety and empowers the client. Ask what their intention is (what they’d like to talk about). If there is a problem behaviour, ask “what is the functionality?” (what’s it doing for you).
Ask them to describe a situation that has caused an emotional response. Bring them into a bodily experience of the present moment and have them identify the sensations in the body. You may need to remind them to stay “out of their head”. Give them space to describe the emotion, distinguishing between feeling and perception Ask them if it’s the first time they’ve experienced that feeling (we want them to see that the origins go far back). Ask them to describe the earliest experience of this feeling. Ask them who they talked to about this at the time. If no one, ask why not their parents. To bring forth their repressed feelings ask them to imagine a child of similar age. “What would that child feel?” If that other child had this experience, who would you want them to talk to? The answer will usually be the same as their own reason for not talking to their parents. Help them realize their behaviour is a coping mechanism. This brings compassion instead of judgement. Ask about the core belief that was developed about themselves at that time.
Challenge the core belief by examining other possible reasons why the person who harmed them, may have done so (not excusing but giving a different perception or interpretation). Bring the client’s current issue back to them, encouraging 100% responsibility. See the client for their possibility. Help them reframe their perceptions to be more in line with present reality. Affirm what they have already achieved or demonstrated. Thank the client for their interaction.