🥰 SLAA - Step 3
Step 3: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God."
🌿 What Step 3 Means to Me
Turning my will and my life over to the care of God means trusting — not forcing, fixing, or controlling. And I’ll be honest: that’s still hard for me.
I’ve lived most of my life trying to figure everything out myself. I’ve been the strategist, the overthinker, the perfectionist, the one who believed my intelligence and effort could somehow save me from the pain of love addiction, trauma, and isolation.
But it didn’t. My self-will led me into suffering, obsession, disconnection, and despair. It made my life unmanageable.
Now, in recovery, I’m learning that God’s way is different. It’s not about pressure, or punishment, or unrealistic expectations. It’s about care. Gentle, wise, encouraging care.
When I turn my life over to God’s care, I experience something radically different from my old ways:
- I stop trying to force outcomes.
- I stop chasing love in the wrong places.
- I start experiencing peace — sometimes even gratitude — for simply existing.
This decision to surrender is not a one-time vow. It’s a daily, sometimes moment-by-moment choice:
“I don’t want to run the show anymore. I want to trust something wiser, something kinder.”
🤲 What I’m Learning About God
I don’t have to manage this all alone anymore. God is not a tyrant. He doesn’t shame me when I fall. He knows my heart. He understands my neurodivergence, my trauma, my pain, my longing.
He is not confused about who I am. He sees the full picture — and still chooses to stay near. He leads me through love, not fear.
And He often gives me more kindness and insight than I know how to give myself.
😟 The Fears I Still Carry (And Why I’m Letting Go Anyway)
Even though I trust more than I used to, I still feel afraid sometimes. I fear that:
If I surrender, I might become passive or lazy. → But experience shows the opposite: when I trust God, I take more effective, peaceful action.
God’s plan might be too hard or not what I want. → But in truth, His plans have already brought more growth and safety than my own strategies ever did.
I might disappoint Him. → But I know He sees my heart, not just my performance. And He is not asking me for perfection, only honesty.
He might ask me to stay single. → Even though that scares me, I’m realizing that I’m okay — and even thriving — in this season of being alone. I am learning to enjoy my own company.
🧭 What Surrender Looks Like for Me Right Now
Right now, “turning my will and life over” means:
- Letting myself stay single without feeling like something is missing
- Letting go of perfectionism and the need to appear flawless
- Sitting with my feelings instead of escaping into fantasy, obsession, or codependence
- Making space for God’s timing, not trying to control outcomes
- Allowing myself to rest in being human, not trying to prove my worth through intensity or fixing others
I’m not trying to figure out the whole future anymore. I’m learning to ask, “God, what’s the next loving step You’d have me take today?”
🙏 My Personal Step 3 Decision
I’ve made a decision to stop running my life on self-will. I don’t want to go back to chasing fantasy, rescuing unavailable people, or white-knuckling my way through pain.
Instead, I choose to:
- Trust God’s timing
- Follow His gentle cues
- Keep surrendering, even when fear shows up
- Let grace be louder than shame
- Let love, not addiction, guide me forward
This is not about perfection. It’s about willingness. And I am willing!