Reasons for Suicidal ideation and What to do
Suicidal ideation doesn’t usually come from a single cause—it’s often the result of many converging pressures (biological, psychological, social, and spiritual).
Here are some of the most common reasons people experience it:
1. Overwhelming Emotional Pain
- Feeling like the intensity of pain is unbearable (emotional, physical, or both).
- A sense that suffering is endless and won’t improve.
- Often tied to trauma, grief, heartbreak, or existential despair.
2. Loss of Hope or Meaning
- Believing that the future holds no possibilities worth living for.
- Feeling disconnected from purpose, relationships, or belonging.
- Existential crises: “What’s the point of being here?”
3. Trauma & Moral Injury
- Survivors of abuse, neglect, or betrayal may internalize shame or guilt.
- Witnessing or being unable to stop injustice, exploitation, or cruelty (like animals explotarion, abuse, oppression) can create moral injury: the sense that living in such a world is intolerable.
4. Mental Health Conditions
- Depression: creates deep hopelessness and self-criticism.
- PTSD/C-PTSD: flashbacks and hyperarousal can make life feel unlivable.
- Bipolar disorder: suicidal thoughts may emerge in depressive phases.
- Borderline Personality Disorder: intense emotional dysregulation and fear of abandonment.
5. Neurodivergence & Sensory Overload
- Autistic and ADHD individuals may experience overwhelm, burnout, and social rejection.
- Suicidality sometimes arises from chronic invalidation, feeling “too much” or “not enough.”
6. Burdensomeness & Isolation
- Belief that “others would be better off without me.”
- Feeling like a burden to family, society, or loved ones.
- Profound loneliness or lack of safe connection.
7. External Stressors
- Poverty, chronic illness, disability, discrimination, violence.
- Loss of a job, relationship, or community.
- Ongoing exploitation or injustice, especially for highly empathic people.
8. Desire for Relief, Not Death
- Many people don’t want to die—they want the pain to stop.
- Suicide may feel like the only escape from unbearable suffering.
👉 Important note: Suicidal ideation is a signal of unbearable suffering, not weakness. It’s the mind’s way of saying: “I cannot carry this load anymore. I need relief, safety, or change.”
What to do if you have suicidal ideation?
Having a clear, step-by-step plan for when suicidal ideation rises can make all the difference. It takes the decision-making out of the crisis moment and gives you a script to follow when your brain is overwhelmed.
Here’s a gentle, evidence-based step-by-step guide you can adapt for yourself:
1. Recognize the Warning Signs
Notice your body/mind signals: thoughts like “I don’t want to be here,” intense hopelessness, agitation, or planning thoughts.
Say to yourself (out loud if you can):
“This is a suicidal thought. It’s a signal of pain, not a command.”
2. Pause and Breathe
- Take 3 slow breaths in through your nose, out through your mouth.
- Put one hand on your heart, one on your belly to ground your body.
- This calms the nervous system enough to take the next step.
3. Remove Immediate Risks
- If you have means nearby (pills, knives, etc.), move them to another room, lock them away, or call someone to hold them temporarily.
- This buys time—suicidal crises are usually short-lived peaks of pain.
4. Use a Soothing or Grounding Technique
Examples:
- Run cold water on your hands, name what you see around you (“I see a chair, I see a window…”).
- Hold a comforting object or pet.
- Play a calming song or listen to a voice note of someone supportive.
These anchor you in the present moment.
5. Reach Out to a Person
Call or text a trusted friend, support group member, or a helpline (even if you don’t plan to act on the thoughts — they’re there for exactly this).
You don’t have to explain everything; you can simply say,
“I’m in pain right now. Can you just stay with me on the phone / text?”
If you’re in Spain: 024 is the suicide helpline (free, 24/7).
6. Remind Yourself of Your Protective Anchors
Look at a photo, a list of reasons to stay, or a quote you’ve saved.
Remind yourself:
“Feelings pass. I’ve survived thoughts like this before. This is pain, not truth.”
7. Distract or Self-Soothe for 15–30 Minutes
- Watch a comforting show, take a shower, walk outside, color, journal, cuddle a pet.
- Research shows even short distractions can shift a crisis.
8. Reassess After the Peak
- Suicidal thoughts tend to spike and then ebb (like a wave).
- After ~30–60 minutes, check: “Is the intensity lower?”
- If still high, repeat steps 2–7 or call emergency services if you feel unsafe with yourself.
9. Seek Professional Help
- If thoughts keep returning, contact your therapist, psychiatrist, or go to your nearest ER if you’re at immediate risk.
- Crisis doesn’t have to equal hospitalization — sometimes just being with someone safely is enough.
10. Practice Gentle Self-Compassion
After the crisis wave passes, treat yourself kindly.
Warm tea, soft blanket, affirmations like:
“That was hard. I’m still here. I’m proud of myself for getting through.”